CONTENTS
CONTENTS
Chapter 4, Part i
The Big Four
(My 4 relocations leading to PwC)
Earlier this week, I was sitting in the United Club lounge at SFO (San Francisco airport) and I kept singing in my head a very old but famous tune, “Rice-a-roni, the San Francisco treat…” picturing the woman walking off the side of a street car coming down a famous SF hill with her brown paper grocery bag with the Rice-a-roni poking out the top. Ever since I saw that commercial as a kid, I dreamed of one day going to California… I grew up thinking that traveling to other cities to which I could not drive was an unattainable fantasy. I finally came to San Francisco in 2010 for a conference paid for by my company and I immediately fell in love with this incredibly eccentric and energetic city. I caught the bug as they say, and made it ultimately possible to do more than realise this dream of going to California, but also aiming to make it my home…. I moved to San Francisco in 2015, but as most of you know, I have since left it behind in March, 2019 for the story I am about to tell about how the hell I ended up in New Zealand.
I spent the last week in San Francisco at the same conference (Dreamforce) that I came to 10 years ago - almost a surreal experience to feel homesick and nostalgic in a city where I only spent four years and only left six short months ago. I did make my way around to all of my favourite places to load up on my personal definition of the San Francisco treats - local hand made chocolates, a Kouign Amann from B. Patisserie, some carnitas at Nopalito, a ginger cookie at Blue Bottle, the hand made protein bar at Proper Food, the chocolate chip cookie at Specialty (yes, I mentioned cookies twice), and a reuben at Grove. To offset some of this indulgence, I got in a work out at Jigalin on Greenwich, did a walk through the MLK memorial at Yerba Buena Garden, danced wildly as I belted out some Gloria Gaynor karaoke at Pandora in the Tenderloin, completed a lame attempt of a cardio challenge at the Lyon Street Steps, took a stroll through the ferry building just to feel the energy, and took a long leisurely walk along the Embarcadero from SOMA past Fisherman’s Wharf up into Fort Mason to the Marina to get some sunset shots of the Golden Gate Bridge to then head back to my airbnb. If you’ve not been to San Francisco and don’t know what it’s like to walk from the Marina to Pacific Heights, let me just tell you, you will be breathing heavy just going one block as some of the hills are so steep, they have created stairs as the sidewalk and in other areas, the roads are closed off as they are too steep to drive up.
When I first moved to San Francisco, I used to imagine how cars would slide down those hills and be unable to get up them when it snows. But guess what… it doesn’t snow in San Francisco! After spending 38 of my 44 years only in Ohio, I can’t climb a hill without thinking, “This is going to be a disaster in the winter.” San Francisco winters however, are actually milder than their summers, rarely going below 50 degrees - only needing a real coat if Karl the Fog creeps in with a storm that brings a chill without any sun. Despite it not having the perfect weather, it was truly an escape after experiencing the most dreadful winter of my life in Boston, Massachusetts where I had moved in February, 2014 shortly after my divorce as a work transfer with Bluewolf. This was the first time in my life I left Ohio with all of my stuff and hopes and dreams for “starting my life over.” Something not many people know about me is that I really have always wanted to move out of Ohio, but my senior year in high school, I pretty much lost the nerve when it came to choosing a college and I ended up only 35 miles away from home…. In my very early post college years, I could not really afford to travel nor relocate and then I met a man with a son and that kept me in Ohio until we separated.
This is not where I pahked my cah...
So, this move, though a life long dream I had never dared pursue, was a scary yet momentous occasion. I sold my home, packed up my three dogs, rallied my dad as my road trip companion, and took almost all of my worldly possessions to move to a new city with a new job and a plan to live alone for the first time in my life. I found an amazing two bedroom Brownstone in the South End on Appleton street, a quaint little street close to the famous Tremont street. I was walking distance from Boston Commons, Newbury Street, and what became my favourite restaurant, probably still to this day, The Beehive.
The Beehive, a very dimly lit bar/restaurant with eastern european-american fusion cuisine, boasts delicious cocktails, live jazz, and a NO DANCING rule. Try to picture me, moderately drunk listening to live music NOT dancing. Can’t do it, can you? Because it’s NOT possible - I am dancing even when there ISN’T music, so this is inconceivable. I was advised by the GM who politely said, “Ma’am, I am sorry, I am going to have to ask you to stop dancing.” I looked up and smiled and said, “Is it that bad?” He smiled, laughed and said, “No, no… it’s just, we don’t have a license for dancing.” Without missing a beat, while still dancing, I whipped out my ID and said, “Weeeellll, I have a license for dancing!”
Unfortunately, my joke did not work and I was told if I was going to continue dancing, I had to go stand behind a red rope by the entrance. I assume 99.9% of the time he said that, people stopped dancing. But not me; I walked over to the rope, stood behind it and danced with extreme purpose including overly exaggerated moves taunting the other bouncers with pretend motions of my intent to encroach beyond the rope- for the rest of the night until the band stopped playing. I also threatened that I would be back the following weekend to dance behind the red rope for my birthday. So, I did that too. I remember telling this story to friends who googled this concept of the no dancing law which led to many hilarious discoveries of outdated laws in history such as places you can’t eat peanuts on certain days or that pickles have to bounce (not kidding)...
About six months into my time in Boston, I was recruited from Bluewolf (where I was Senior Director of Change Management and Sales Effectiveness) to Acumen Solutions where I was offered a Managing Director role over the CRM practice. I was given the choice to move to either Washington DC, London, Cleveland, New York, or San Francisco. As I pondered these options, in came the 2014–15 North American winter season, when Boston broke its all-time official seasonal 107.6-inch snowfall. I was MISERABLE with the snow and the way the “massholes” handled it so I chose to move to San Francisco where I could take my dogs, have a new weather experience, and see what it’s like to live where I had been attending Dreamforce for the past four years.
The continued snow was so bad that I accelerated my move and left Boston after only one year. Despite my time there being short, I made some of my closest friends to whom I am forever indebted for sharing with my many guests from Ohio and with me some great memories. Boston has the most insane St. Patrick’s day parade where the whole city shuts down, is home to the beautiful Boston Marathon, home to Mark Wahlberg who I got to meet at Equinox, has the best Duck Tour which I did at least seven times… I enjoyed co-hosting a Kentucky Derby Party with all the fixings, hats, and winning bets, spending beach days in Ipswich, and of course taking the ferry tours to PTown, while daily getting to walk through all of the internationally known historic sights.
Falling in Love with San Francisco
In February of 2015, I packed up my house and car again, now with my best friend since kindergarten and only two dogs (as unfortunately, Maui passed away in Boston), and set off for a ten-day cross country drive with the overnight stops plotted out for me by my dear friend Juan. The crazy thing about this cross-country drive was it was planned for a May launch - a late Spring drive. We had chosen the Northern route so I could claim more states in my USA tour having already driven the middle route to LA in 2008 to help a friend move and the Southern route to New Mexico in 1996 as part of my Otterbein University studies. Setting off in February on the Northern route may not have been my brightest idea; in fact we were at one point in a total white out pretty afraid for our lives as demonstrated by the videos we shot while driving instead of pulling over.
This was the most epic road trip filled with incredibly random highlights such as the Bridges of Madison County, the birthplace of John Wayne, the statue of David replica in South Dakota, Crater National Park, getting to see Mount Rushmore at sunset with literally ZERO other humans, getting pulled over in Idaho where I cuted/sarcasmed my way out of a ticket, and a very disappointing road closure at Yellowstone after driving four hours out of our way to see it. This trip is worth its own blog, so I will come back to it in a future chapter.
Upon arriving in San Francisco, I was greeted by my very kind and incredibly successful young landlord who owned a two bedroom condo in the heart of the Financial District. Surrounded by high rises, it was only a three story building; I later learned it was very old ice warehouse deemed a historic building that had been turned into about 30 condo units. It was a large open floor plan with a two story main living area and a large exposed brick wall and a massive 8 foot tall window the width of the unit allowing natural light and the smell of alley marijuana smoke to fill my living room every day. I absolutely loved this condo - it’s convenient location and welcoming layout - and made it a home for two years sharing many amazing memories with the #bestroomieever, new friends, old friends, roof top BBQs, way too many Tinder dates, city walks in the morning in PJs, and the love of being a regular at Peet’s and NewTree Cafe where my dogs were greeted with dog treats kept just for them and their daily visit. Unfortunately, after two years, the city had begun some major construction just outside my bedroom window and the noise was just too much to handle. My roommate and I decided to try living a bit outside of downtown relocating to Corona Heights into a three story house overlooking the bay.
How I got the International Idea
Despite making some amazing memories personally in this home, I was at a place in my career where I desperately wanted some new challenges. I had a few recruiting calls that were compelling, nearly accepting a position leading a Salesforce practice in Sydney, Australia…. but I was advancing from a level perspective and was so close with and committed to my team and Leadership at Acumen that I wanted to stay on and try to experience change within the company. (I will share more of my philosophy on this part of the story in the “Self Talk” section.) Despite my commitment to Acumen, I needed to change my role or the environment...something was missing that I could not quite put my finger on until I had an epiphany while on vacation in Europe. This vacation, another whole blog in and of itself, was a solo ten day tour of France, Belgium, Switzerland, and Monaco that was to be with 3 gal pals. Suffice it to say, it did not go as planned, but I made the best of it. While doing so, I had a deeply profound realisation - I am meant to do so much more with my travels, writing, photography, and consulting skills - and I NEED to live abroad to prepare for this future career idea I had. I assume - as readers of my blog - you may either be experiencing similar points in your life where you have ideas, but don’t exactly know how to execute on them. I had this idea and wasn’t sure how I would do it, but I had to try. From Geneva, sitting at lunch alone, I messaged the head of our International team and our Commercial team and said, “Remember how I told you a few months ago if you need help in London, I would go over…. Well, I want to MOVE there. Can we make that happen?” We approached the CEO, one of my favourite people in the world, and though reluctant to say yes, he supported my need for change and allowed me to start the planning process to relocate myself to London. We will pick up in The Big Four Part II for how I made that happen and just exactly why I am not still there.
BEST ROOMIE EVER
Self Talk Highlights - Leaving the USA:
1. On the topic of my post-divorce comment about "Starting my life over," I don't want to be so blasé about it, like it was easy and I just packed up and things magically felt like a new beginning when I got to Boston. Josh, my ex husband, moved to California months after our divorce and I moved to Boston - I think we both had the self talk that distance, coupled with time, would heal the wounds of our failed marriage. For anyone seeking a new beginning, I mean not to imply that moving away - or what seems to many as running from your problems - will fix anything. I just want to be clear that my own personal self talk here is this: I was committed to staying in Ohio to help raise a child who was our number one commitment. Once that was no longer my responsibility as a stepmom, I had to search deep within myself to understand what I had sacrificed willingly and what I was using as an excuse to stay in a comfort zone. There were many reasons going to Boston made sense and many reasons it did not. Having said that, this was another case of fear possibly holding me back, so I quite honestly have to say this... I got an offer from my company to move, and I just said YES. In other words, an opportunity presented itself and instead of coming up with 100 excuses why it would not work, I decided to focus on why it would. I told myself over and over, "If this does not go well, at least I tried.... people will come see me, and what have I really got to lose?" If you are thinking about a relatively simple relocation within a 10-12 hour drive from your family, trust me, it's not that difficult. Shockingly, the culture in Boston was quite different from Ohio and I had some major hurdles acclimating, but I trusted in a process like a new kid in elementary school, that I would make friends, could try some new adventures, and there was no reason to be afraid of taking a risk.
Do your research to choose the right part of the city to which you are moving, make sure it fits your personality and lifestyle preferences - for example - be careful moving to a "touristy" city if you hate waiting in lines and terribly lost drivers everywhere; check out the population density if you are used to wide open spaces, check out the nightlife scene if you prefer that or the nature scene and weather if you are easily depressed with too much rain or clouds. In advance of the move, set up a network of people either through your job or Meetup types of organizations so you are not alone too long before you have friends. In this day and age, meeting people of like interests is just an app away, so rather than staying miserable forever in the city your family birthed you in to, try something new. If you love your life, stay put of course and just travel temporarily for fun. But please, see the world, It's a beautiful place.
2. The Geneva, Switzerland Epiphany... This was quite simple actually.... On a solo Euro trip, I met someone amazing in every city - talking to strangers I would not have had my three friends stayed on the trip with me. (It sounds as if I ran off my friends, but I will write a whole blog on this, and trust me, I was innocent in the causes and a winner with the outcomes.) I stayed at Marriotts in each city and had fun telling the Concierges the story of why I was alone, gathering advice on the best things to do as a single woman traveler. I was taking photos and posting my insane stories, and having such a good time, I came up with the perfect career idea for when I retire from Consulting in the next 5-10 years. I decided there, sitting at lunch alone listening to a live band outside a permanent carnival area that I was meant to do this - travel and make it easy and enjoyable for other people through my advice, consulting, ideas, tips, and suggestions on how to have the confidence to be alone on an adventure. This long term role of course would carry more credibility if I lived internationally, so, I decided, that's what I needed to do. The self talk here is CRITICAL.... When you have an epiphany... DO NOT FUCKING WAIT TO ACT ON IT. Whomever you need to call to hold you accountable or to start the ball rolling... CALL, EMAIL, GO SEE THEM! I cannot stress this enough... the entire premise of The Secret - with a focus on Law of Attraction and the abundance of the universe - is to Ask, Believe, and Receive. So, I asked, believed I could make it happen, and with each little bread crumb that lead me to my goal, I took it. I would say I ate it, but breadcrumbs are high in carbs. HAHAHA :) JUST DO IT people! Feel the fear, do it anyway.
3. I promised in the blog to share my philosophy on when I think it's OK to leave your company... even when you are a dedicated, loved, supported, and generally happy employee. It is simply this: when you feel like there is nothing more you and they can gain professionally and personally from you being there - it's time to go. I have 100% only left a company (Huntington, Bluewolf, and Acumen Solutions) when I felt that my reputation, credibility, value add and vice versa was tapped out... For example, if I felt I could have made a major impact in a new area for the company that was going to also be a learning or growth experience for me, I would stay... I moved to new roles, new levels of responsibility, new locations, to new bosses, etc. I did that for 14 years at Huntington, and once I was all tapped out on how to make it better for them or me, it was time to go... I also believe that succession planning is absolutely critical and preparing the next generation of leaders to take my job is only fair. I jokingly say, "the faster I phase myself out or replace myself, the better." All too often, I see people leave for more money and they get somewhere and hate it... or they leave for a promise to a big promotion that quite frankly, they are not ready for. Maximise your employer for their trust in you to take new positions so you can hone your craft without learning new technology systems, building navigation, unfamiliar processes and policies, etc. Also, NEVER leave only for money. I can honestly say, I have not done that - to be honest, the move from Bluewolf to Acumen was nominally financially beneficial and the same from Acumen to PwC. Look at either an effective way to add value and learn in the new role and the money will come, or stay put until you can honestly say you left for the right reasons. I heard a speaker once say, for both personal and professional situations, "Never leave because you are unhappy with something; get to where you are happy and decide if you should leave anyway." Happiness comes from within and I always wanted to leave a positive legacy at all of my employers - you cannot do that if you storm out from a failed negotiation for a salary match.
MY SOLO DAY TRIP FROM GENEVA: MONT BLANC
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